Take the pledge of support for mental health by clicking here

Finally, listen to last Sunday’s Cross Country Checkup on CBC for a very interesting discussion on the MH Commission’s mandate and findings.

I wanted to share with you a wonderful new resource – a series of cognitive training workshops offered by my friend Nancy Salay. Nancy is a lecturer at Queen’s University where she teaches and does research in the Philosophy department and the School of Computing. Her area of specialization is cognitive science.

Nancy has 15+ years of experience teaching cognitive skills, both at universities and in the private sector.  She has long struggled with the problem of how to bridge the gap between theory and practice; Her new initiative, Do It Better is the result. Nancy is now offering hands-on workshops for teachers, health care workers and professionals in the corporate world.

Check our her three one day workshops:

Teachers: The Focused Classroom

Health Care: The Age-Defying Brain

Corporate: The Working Brain

Q: Robin, I come across a lot of very talented helping professionals who are dreaming of going into private practice or of launching a business of some sort, and they often seem to stumble on the money part: how much to charge, how to talk about money…is this something you come across as well?

A: Being asked to help with this blog post is a bit like when I won the “most improved academic” award in grade 8. It didn’t say I had great marks, just that they were so much better than where I started. Such is true here, I’m not famous, I don’t have thousands of clients in my private practice, I don’t charge millions of dollars for my services (for high level advice like that you need Michael Port – see below). I’m probably more like you: I went into this business because I wanted to help people. I started out in the field with very little information, I suffered terrible vicarious trauma, left the field for a while, came back better, experienced it again, got better, worked for organizations and for myself. Since I wanted to do more of the work (such as the workshops with Françoise and then 1-on-1 coaching) I had to become more comfortable with the money piece. I guess what I’m saying is “If I can do it, anyone can.”

It would be fair to say that all of my clients struggle with this in one way or another.

Let’s take this question back a step further: I think it relates really well to the conversation I have with clients about their motivations for wanting to go into private practice or run their own business. If the sole reason you want to go into private practice is because your consumer debt is so high that you desperately need more cash, it is going to be very difficult for you to get past the discomfort of asking people for money.

One of the first things I do with my clients who are working towards entrepreneurship is to dig down beneath the money: WHY do they want to work privately?  There are always some logistical benefits such as “I can control my own hours” or “I can take more holidays”.  But at the core there is always an intention to SERVE in a new way.  For example, when I worked in an institution, I always found that my clients were just getting fired up around the 45 minute mark and I felt that we lost a lot of headway when we had to cram strategies into the last 15 minutes to keep them inspired and on track. So when I started my private practice, I gave people more time.

I hear your foot tapping…Robin, When are you going to talk about MONEY?  This is the cool part, we ARE talking about money, because we are now talking about the real deal: VALUE.  This will also become the core of your marketing plan (but that’s for another day!).

What will you offer to those that you serve that will be of value?  At this point most of my clients look for something to hide under and get ready to say “um, I don’t know”. But we all have something special to offer, and you wouldn’t be in this business if on some level, even if it is deep deep down, you know that you have a unique gift or role to play. One way you can become more aware of the value you offer is to reflect on a session with a client that you felt went very well: what happened? What did you do and feel? What did the client get from the session that was valuable?  Don’t worry, if you find this too hard to do on your own, I’d be happy to do it with you.

So the short answer is yes, most if not all of my business clients have a discomfort with the idea of charging for their services.

Q: How are you about the money part? What have you done to get comfortable with that piece?

A: I began to reflect more on what I wanted to offer to the people I felt most moved to serve. I also tried to think practically about my practice, since I am a certified counsellor and life coach I am rarely covered by insurance or benefits so I had to consider whether or not the people I wanted to serve could actually afford to pay for my services.

From there I also had to challenge some beliefs that I had absorbed from my work. One was “students are poor”. Having come from an organization that serves some of the most marginalized students on campus, this was a reality, for those students. In my second role on campus I saw a more general group of students and realized that some of these students were also in a very difficult financial situation but many of them had means and were very willing to talk to their families about their need for more help.

There must be a balance between who you are called to serve and putting on your business hat and making sure that this is a population who can be seen in your private practice. There are ways to serve under-resourced groups in private practice too, such as doing EAP (Employee Assistance Program) work. You don’t have to rule it out – you just need to be clear about who you want to serve and then look at their financial situation. There are lots of options – for example, once you are doing what you are called to do as your actual job, you can also serve an underserved population on a volunteer basis (although if you are going to work with me, you might be surprised when I ask you to consider not doing volunteer work for a little while. Heal first, start your practice first and then add further ways to serve).

Here are some of the things that I do in order to combat the money discomfort:

1. I do a free telephone consult with every new client before seeing them, and have a policy in my practice to offer to refer anyone who has access to free counselling.  Of course you can still choose to see me, but I like people to know about all of their options. Many people don’t know that they have benefits that cover counselling.
2. I talk about the fee during the initial phone conversation with potential clients (this is something I roleplay with coaching clients who are starting a practice, if they are uncomfortable).
3. I have software that invoices my clients and they can pay by sending a cheque, using a credit card through Paypal, or by sending an Interac transfer (for information about this, see resources below).
4. I have a sliding scale rate that I offer to any clients who needs it. (This is not a pro bono rate or a fraction of my fee – I would recommend that it not be more than 25% lower than your full rate, at least in the first year of practice).

In one of my first money conversations with a new client I was so nervous that I kept talking to her about the possibility of the lower fee, finally she gently told me that she was able to afford to pay my fee.  It was pretty embarrassing! Luckily she was very gracious about it.

Q: Can you name two or three of your favourite financial resources (books, website, blog)?

A: Michael Port has written some great books.  Book Yourself Solid  is one that I recommend to people who are struggling with the fears around starting a client-based business. I often use his “red carpet strategy” with my clients: The idea is to be very honest with yourself about who you want to serve, which protects people from taking on clients they feel that they should see, rather than clients that you truly believe you are meant to help. This is especially vital in the first year of practice. He also had a small role in one episode of Sex in the City which is cool.

There are software programs on the market for counsellors and coaches starting out. I use The Coaches Console. It is an integrated program that does invoicing, keeps track of hours for certification, I use it for my notes and my clients can keep track of their goals. It’s really handy.  I don’t benefit from recommending the Console but do receive a percentage of my initial fee back if people order it by using this link or by mentioning they heard about it from me upon signing up.  You can do that too, it’s called an affiliate link. Here is my affiliate link to Coaches Console.

I wrote a short handbook to accompany a presentation I offered to the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association that offers a good starting point. It isn’t a comprehensive guide but it usually answers some of the initial questions. To check it out, see the link to Françoise’s store.  The regular price for this workbook is $10.95, but, to thank you for reading this post, it will be $5.95 plus tax until May 15th when it will return to its normal price. Click here to purchase the guide.

[Françoise: I would like to also recommend a blog post that just came out a few days ago from Lynn Grodzki: Private Practice Success: Standing out from the Crowd]

Q: What would a client experience in an initial meeting with you? Can you give us a quick tour of what that would be like?

A: Each session is unique but I’ll try to give you a sense of what generally happens: Over tea, we would spend some time talking about where you are currently. What brought you to coaching?  Throughout this conversation we would likely touch on things that you have in your life or have had in your life that felt good, contributed to better self-care, and a better sense of self. This is “the dig where the ground is soft” philosophy: if someone used to be a triathlete, slowly adding swimming or running into their life again might feel really great, to a person who has had a serious back injury and never exercised, not so much!

Clients generally come with a goal, such as “to be healthier” – we would work this goal towards more specific milestones that can be broken up into manageable and measurable bites. We will also address blocks to achieving the goal: after all, if the goal had been easy to achieve they would have done it without seeking help. We look for small ways that they can begin if they are feeling overwhelmed, ways to experience success. One of my clients set a goal to spend half an hour by herself before she came to see me again. This was very meaningful to her and represented a big change in her self-care plan.

Following our session, I send the goals to the client so that they can see them written down, re-read them, revise if needed. A client is encouraged to get in touch with me if they encounter any stumbling blocks rather than wait until their next session. Sometimes a strategy doesn’t work, our old way of dealing is to be defeated and just say, “Oh, I’m never going to lose the weight”, or “Clearly, I’ll never be able leave the office before 7pm”.  In our work together we tap into a more resourceful place and re-work a strategy until it is realistic and you can achieve success.  Sometimes a client will only need one or two sessions, especially if it is a goal that they have been thinking about for some time. The additional accountability can go a long way toward getting them there.

I have had a great time creating a practice that helps my clients where they are, that means that much of my work is also done by phone.  The down side is that you have to make your own tea, the upside is that we can work together no matter where you are, in the country, in the world.  I focused most of my training on stress and anxiety and I like to think that my specialty is helping people find creative ways to make their life more efficient and fun so that they can find the inspiration and motivation to finally get where they want to be.  I have opened up several new spaces in my practice by adding a few more days so if you have readers who would like an appointment, they are welcome to call or send an email. Visit www.lifeinspired.ca to reach me.

Françoise, thank you for the opportunity to speak to your readers, as you know, helping professionals are a group near and dear to my heart.  It has been a pleasure, as always to share space with you!  Robin

Zen Habits blogger Leo Babauta shares with us some strategies on meditating daily. I particularly like his suggestion of a trigger. Read on below.

But navigating last week was much easier than it would have been a few years ago for two reasons: a) I didn’t stop exercising, which helped manage my stress very nicely and b) I delegated, asked for help and offloaded all the non essentials to the rest of the crew in my household. I have written about how difficult it is for many of us to ask for help and not do everything ourselves. Helping professionals, as a group, really struggle with that. One reason is that in the middle of the storm, delegating can take more time and energy than most of us have – so we just forge ahead and do it ourselves rather than have to explain the steps to someone else. It can also be hard to ask for help – what if the person refuses? Wouldn’t that be awkward and upsetting too. But if you are overwhelmed, I really encourage you to try: draw up a list of all your duties and responsibilities (do the What’s on your Plate activity in my book, for example) and then see whether there is one thing you could ask someone for help with, delegate or even spend a bit of money to offload on someone else. A friend might be very happy to mow your lawn in exchange for a couple of frozen home cooked meals, for example.

My son, who turns twelve in two weeks had an insight about the chore thing recently: I called him to unload the dishwasher and to my surprise he didn’t grumble and moan but he just happily emptied it and went about his day. When I commented on this he said “Well, I realised that it actually takes more energy and time complaining about it than just doing it. I calculated the difference between moaning and then unloading it and simply unloading it and it was clear that it’s actually only a 5 minute job. When I figured that out, I stopped complaining. It’s too much wasted time and energy.” Ha, whatever works – actuarial accounts of dishwasher emptying is fine with me.

Ok now on to Money Matters:

I’m back with part two of Money Matters. Did you enjoy reading the first one? If so, send me a comment and let me know what your top financial resource is. This week is a short post, as I want to invite you to visit some other blogs and see whether you find something useful to help you manage your money. In his new book The Wealthy Barber Returns, David Chilton recommends some financial blogs (all Canadian) that I went to check out for you:

1) Squawkfox.com by Kerry Taylor. Her byline is “where frugal living is is sexy, delicious and fun!” Ms Taylor offers tons of strategies to reduce household costs and live debt-free. She is currently featuring a food waste challenge, showing that we waste around 40% of our household groceries. Isn’t that crazy? With the soaring costs of food these days, there must be a better way. Her blog is funny and full of great strategies. Sample posts: “Price check experiment: Is Costco really worth it?” “50 ways to save $1000 a year” and “How to get Married for $239.00.” In fact, I had so much fun reading her blog that I just realised an hour has passed. If the next blogs are as good, I may never finish this post…

2) Canadiancapitalist.com by Ram Balakrishnan. This is a much more suit and tie type of blog. I think that the author writes for the magazine Moneysense and this is a blog linked to this publication. Some recents posts include: ”Is a CAA membership worth keeping?” “Is a Costco membership really worth it” (hhm, I sense a theme. Why not go and compare what Kerry and Ram have to say on that topic?),  and “Owning too much real estate my not be prudent.” This blog is widely respected in the field says Preet Banerjee, the author of the next blog I am mentioning here.

3) Wheredoesallmymoneygo.com  by Preet Banerjee. Mr Banerjee originally trained as a neuroscientist and is now a financial expert. He also writes a money column for the Globe and Mail so I have read him in the past and I enjoy his writing style and humour  (did you know that I am addicted to the G&M? It’s serious – as in I have to read the whole paper from cover to cover every single day or else I’m a very unhappy camper… I know, it’s weird. But I learn a lot along the way. I’m not sure why I feel so unhappy when I miss a day, though, it may be a sign that it’s taken control over my life…). Preet Banerjee’s blog is “A Canadian Personal Finance and Investing Blog.” Sample posts are: “Money is more about your mind than your math” and “Buffet and Gekko both recommend index investing” for fans of the movie Wall Street.  Check out his list of recommended blogs and websites. Banerjee recently got flack from some readers for his Globe column on how he saves money by buying winter tires across the border. Sometimes, frugality goes to extremes that I am not willing to go. Time is also a precious commodity, you know? Suffice it to say I am not going to be crossing into Detroit to buy tires anytime soon.

4) Canadian business.com/author/larrymacdonald Larry Macdonald is a former economist and investment expert. Economists are a funny bunch. If I were to make a massive generalisation, economists are probably the most polar opposite personality type to us helping professionals: they tend to be uber rational cerebral types who calmly assess the pros and cons of life and its turmoils, but they are not always bleeding hearts or ambulance chasers, like some of us. If you want a great taste of what I’m talking about, I highly recommend you read the book Freakonomics if you haven’t done so already. The economists of Freakonomics also have a great free podcast series that my son and I often enjoy listening to. But back to Larry MacDonald – this blog is part of the magazine Canadian Business, which I enjoy reading in airports from time to time. A recent post that I really liked was “Canada’s average debtor is not who you think.” MacDonald strikes me as someone that we should read and listen to and respect. He knows his stuff.

Ok, I think that’s enough material for you to go and do some reading. Let me know what you find useful among all of these and I hope you have a great week. Mine is looking peachy right now, compared to last week… Stay tuned next week for the final instalment of Money Sense (for now anyhow): A feature interview with Professional Coach and Compassion Fatigue Specialist Robin Cameron on taking the plunge and going into private practice.

When: May 7, 2012 from 9am to 4pm
Where: Comfort Inn (Salons A&B), 106 Airport Road, St. John’s
Cost: $150, plus HST ($169.50), includes lunch

For more information or to register, call the Transition House Association of NL (THANL) at 739-6759 or email: info@thanl.org. Registration is required as space is limited. Payment must be made prior to or on the day of training by cheque only, please. Special room rates are available at the Comfort Inn if you mention you are attending this event.

Please note that my book “the compassion fatigue workbook” will be available for purchase on the workshop day.

Thank you to those who attended the live webcast! I was very touched by your emails and your feedback.

Please remember that the book draw, referred to in the audio file was only for the live event and is now closed. If you wish to purchase a copy of The Compassion Fatigue Workbook, you can go to our Store and follow the links.

Thanks! I hope to offer more webinars in the future.

Update: The winner of the book draw is Rhonda Leblanc from Nova Scotia. Thank you to everyone who participated.

April is tax time for many of us – a time to sit down and look at our personal finances and take stock. Many helping professionals I work with describe having an uneasy relationship with money: can’t live without it, hate thinking about it. Over the past decade, I have spoken to thousands of helpers and found that many of them are uncomfortable with money matters: I have met nurses who are so deep in consumer debt that they cannot drop a shift, even though their health is in jeopardy. I have talked to helping professionals who have already claimed personal bankruptcy not once, but twice before turning thirty. I know of some helpers who confess to out-of-control gambling when their work stress gets too high, and others who jokingly refer to “retail therapy” as their way of coping with a stressful and demanding job. Some self-employed consultants have told me they struggle with setting a high enough fee for their work, and feel uncomfortable dealing with the financial aspect of their job. Debt is a dirty, uncomfortable topic for many helping professionals, as is money in general, and those of us who aren’t doing well with our finances tend to play the ostrich when we feel too overwhelmed by it all. The good news is that there are some great resources available out there, and many of them are Canadian. If your finances are a major source of stress for you right now, take a deep breath, be compassionate to yourself and read on.

The Wealthy Barber Returns

On my way to Halifax a few weeks ago, I came across David Chilton’s new book at the airport – “The Wealthy Barber Returns”.  Most Canadian readers will know Chilton for his uber-popular best-selling 1989 book The Wealthy Barber which outlined, in a story format, basic tips for financial health. As a twentysomething, it was my first introduction to RRSPs, investment and creative ways to save money. I had frugal parents who did not believe in consumer debt, but they were not savvy to the world of compound interest and automated savings. I don’t recall receiving much of a financial education from them, other than “live within your means” and “don’t spend what you don’t have.” According to Chilton, it turns out that my parents were absolutely right: this new book focuses squarely on the biggest problem many Canadians are currently facing: massive consumer debt. The Wealthy Barber Returns was designed to be a quick read (four hours max) and is full of concrete strategies and lots of bad puns. Chilton’s hilarious writing style makes for a highly entertaining read while you learn (or review what you already know) about money matters.

And, get this for weird coincidences: I read The Wealthy Barber Returns all the way to Halifax, checked into my hotel and there he was, David Chilton, at the same hotel as me, giving a book talk. Spooky, non? We didn’t meet and become bffs or anything, but weird eh? Click here to read an excellent and detailed review of Chilton’s book.

Cheryl Richardson

In her book “Take time for your life” (which many of you know is my favourite work-life balance books of all times), Richardson explains that she came to the world of life coaching through her origins as a tax consultant. Here is an excerpt from her blog intro to the book:

Although tax consulting can be a straightforward, ‘‘just the facts, ma’am,’’ kind of job, my practice developed in a different direction. Year after year, in addition to their tax folders, clients brought me their life stories, wanting my advice and support. They needed a sounding board, an objective listener who could provide a fresh perspective. I learned how to create an environment in which people could feel comfortable and safe enough to talk about their lives freely.

In private, they would share with me their fears and concerns. Business owners, afraid of losing clients if they raised their fees, would let their own well-being suffer instead. Corporate employees, needing to support their families, struggled with how to handle political issues at work or the insensitivity of bosses. Together we found solutions to the problems that were causing them stress. Sometimes, simply hearing an objective perspective would make all the difference in the world. Other times, finding the right language to communicate their needs allowed them to get unstuck and take action. Most important, knowing that they were not alone and that others grappled with the same kind of issues provided them with comfort and much needed support.

Over time I became less interested in preparing people’s tax returns and more interested in helping them prioritize their lives to spend more time with their families or fulfill a secret dream, like starting a business or having a child. I decided to stop providing my tax consulting services and start responding full-time to the greater concerns of my clients. I began to do this by holding workshops called ‘‘Secrets of Success’’ and speaking to groups about everything from goal setting to relationship-building strategies. People were relieved to find someone who could help them overcome obstacles to better their lives. One thing was clear—there was a need for ‘‘life planning’’ but there was no one to turn to. This need for objective guidance and support has spawned the profession of coaching.

On page 104 of Take Time for Your Life, Cheryl Richardson has a “financial health checkup” which invites you take stock of your the state of your finances. This book is a go-to for so many different reasons and is now available at a very low price, as it has been in print for over twenty years. Order yourself a copy today and start investing in your financial and emotional health.

Gail Vaz-Oxlade - Till Debt Do Us Part

Have you ever had a chance to watch Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s show “Till Debt Do Us Part”?  I highly recommend it. In this TV show, Gail offers a three month financial makeover to struggling couples. Participants on the show are everyday people – you could easily know them (or be them, for that matter). She helps them take stock of their debt load and map out a plan to dig themselves out in a certain span of time (e.g to be debt free in three years). But in return, they must commit to doing whatever Gail recommends – this can mean taking on an additional part time job, downsizing or giving up an expensive hobby. The most shocking part of the show is the initial financial analysis where participants realise, with Gail’s signature bluntness, that they have been spending many thousands of dollars per month beyond the income they earn. Check it out. You can view some episodes online.

Gail has also written several money management books which are written in her inimitable style (simple and direct, no B.S.). Visit her website for more information and for money management tools (go to Resources and scroll down for all sorts of worksheets).

David Bach’s Latte factor

David Bach has written a highly successful series of books on automating your savings and on the beauty of compound interest (how money grows when you invest it long term). He is the author of The Automatic Millionaire, Debt Free for Life and many other works. Check out his website. Bach’s most famous concept is probably “The Latte Factor” where he invites us to add up those small every day purchases and find $5.00 a day to invest instead of spending it on a latte, muffin, gum or magazines. Try out his Latte calculator and see where your pocket change is going and what you could do with it to make it grow into a nest egg.

Wow, this is turning into a far longer blog post than I had intended, as I am very passionate about this topic and there are wonderful resources out there, so let’s call this Money Matters Part One. Next week, I will share with you some great websites that can become your go-to for daily suggestions on money management.

In closing, I will share with you one of my favourite Cheryl Richardson quotes: “Do not confuse difficult choices with no choices.” Although some of us are struggling with unemployment or underemployment, a life-altering illness or catastrophic event which threaten our basic livelihood, the truth is that many of us have the means to get on top of one of our biggest stressor: our money matters. Reading some of these resources is a great place to start.

Photo credit: scottchan

of The Compassion Fatigue Workbook:

Creative Tools for Transforming Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma

Live Broadcast:

Monday, April 16th, 2012 12:00noon-1:00pm EST

with author Françoise Mathieu, M.Ed., CCC.

Compassion Fatigue Specialist

Photo from Kingston book launch, February 2012

Since its publication in January 2012, we have held book launches for the Compassion Fatigue Workbook in Kingston, Toronto and will soon be coming to Ottawa. We are now thrilled to offer a virtual book launch that everyone can attend, no matter where you live!

Join us LIVE on April 16th and enter your name to win a free signed copy of the Compassion Fatigue Workbook!

Busy on that day? Listen to the webinar anytime after April 16th by clicking here. (Please note the contest to win a copy of the book is only valid during the live broadcast).

Where/When/How?

Where: From the comfort of your office or home

When: Monday April 16th, 2012 from 12noon to 1pm EST

How: There are three easy ways to listen to the book launch:

1) At your computer: (this is the best way to participate so you can see the slides while hearing the presenter)

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=27125310

2) Using a telephone only:

Phone Number: (203) 347-3041

Pin Code: 562147#

3) You can also listen in via skype:

Follow this link for more information:

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=27125310

Win a copy of the Compassion Fatigue Workbook!

 ***To win a free copy of the workbook, you need to send me an email (whp@cogeco.ca) within 2 hours of the end of the webcast, telling me the code word which I will reveal during the webinar. I will draw a name that evening and contact the winner right away. Contest will close at 3pm EST on April 16th, 2012. Only participants in the live call on April 16th are eligible.***

Hope you can join us!